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they hear your heartbeat the old carps in the pond

Updated: May 24

yogi's garden, payangan, bali, march 2024


fragments from a silent retreat

stepping into this space / from the very commencement / this stillness we find / to say so is not true / we are found / fetchable reachable extending ourselves to this moment / this luminous moment of / there is nothing to be grasped / clarity another name of the nameless mind that in nowhere abides / here we are lost / here we are found / in this bottomless river / where all manner of flow and movement spring from a sleepless shimmer /

gateless with entry points everywhere / everywhere is where stillness abides / everywhere and nowhere / the more it grows amplifies the stiller it becomes / here and there before the mind words appear / profound this silence / they do not oppose it / thoughts that is / words that is / delusion that is / the mental noise / nothing does / nothing stands against silence / against this radiance / that nothing no sound however deafening stands against silence is in essence what silence is / except that silence is without essence /

not the absence of sound / it embraces every reverberation / again and again they appear and disappear / fragments of thoughts / figments of imagination / leaves on a branch rustling in the wind / branches of a swaying tree / the tree of silence that is / rooted deeply in darkness / from that opacity emitting light /

thoughts keep coming and going / for now night is their color / what comes next we do not know / not knowing that well where colors emanate/ colors of the seen the unseen / colors of time / colors of time reflected back to us through nothingness /

for now there is this name / this body and mind / for now i call them mine / other times other names for this changing body changing mind / as no name will do there is none that won’t / all names will do / all names are just and right as we aim to name what / to name such / the nameless / carrying a name while carried away by the nameless / from there freely going to places and returning / they too are part of the scenery / the scenery of what / the scenery of where / carried to where / the open carries us / carries all things / goes nowhere / there we abide / where gusts of wind abide / pulsing scenery of life and death / in surrendering we take refuge / in letting go / in passingness /


what feels distant what feels close are revisited in silence / notions all turned upside down / in this vast presence what is close what is distant change places / this presence holds questions in equal measure  / questions of place questions of direction question of destination / questions of passing from here to there / from you to me / from me to the mountain at the end of this lush plane / from the banyan tree towering above the village temple at the edge of the jungle to you / questions offered to the crossing of pathways / questions released in praise / praise of uncertainty is the way /

how reachable are we  / how welcoming of the ground opening beneath our feet / a question the wind asks in passing / a passing question that will not dwell / gone /  you hear / gone / the time it takes to answer / chasing us deep down into the passages of sleep / the call here is to awaken / to let go of leafage branche root / settling in uprootedness / in everything is empty / innumerable messages received from and exchanged with emptiness / flow of abundance with no giver or receiver of blessings / make the immeasurable your home / let questions come and go / don't cede to the temptation of looking for answers / let questions and questioner dissolve in your naked heart / go beyond again and again with the traceless / go beyond to where / to the palace of nowhere /

a bonfire / wet and dry wood jubilantly consumed together / here we gather / are we inside or outside this ring of fire / you may never hear the whispering of embers again / it burns to be alive / a circle within a circle / tourbillonnement / a swirling that doesn't leave the lips / gusts of wind rush into the fire / billowing flames / swarming sparks dispersed far into the night / deafening the wind / deepest silence / they hear it all / the old carps in the pond /

they hear it all / the howling wind / the groaning leaves / the twilight cry of cicadas / then silence again / densing / unbreakable / the night sky again / you cannot hide your face in the closter of stars / nothing hidden / it’s all revealed in the dark / they see it all / they hear it all / the old carp in the pond / the murmur of the moon / the sound of your heartbeat / they hear it all /

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