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today, i hold myself

Oct 19, 2018
3 min

today, i hold myself

I write this as it is approaching three months since I spent six days on a silent meditation retreat in the hills of Monchique, Portugal. I regret not having written this sooner, when my thoughts and feelings would be fresh, having poured out of me and into my journal during those days. I also feel hesitant to return to that time, feeling so far removed from it in this moment. Those six days are now rendered so unreal, so unlike my current state that I must have been only so

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starting sesshin

Aug 2, 2018
1 min

starting sesshin

orientation talk on the first day of our july 2018 sesshin in sierra de monchique, algarve, portugal. a presentation of the practice of shikantaza, just sitting: to be simply aware of what arises and bringing one's full attention to it during meditation without seeking any reward as a result of it. zen meditation is about what manifests itself right in this moment, right in each moment, without trying to direct what is unfolding from moment to moment to some future goal. we

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sesshin notes V / april 2018

May 27, 2018
1 min

sesshin notes V / april 2018

cold wind roaring through monchique hills down into the valley though silent we stand on your way are part of your voice with giant boulders young eucalipti we speak through you wind we are your pathway your voice as you unleash your music onto the world #zenpoetry #sesshin #zazen #dharma #meditation #shunyata

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sesshin notes II / april 2018

May 27, 2018
1 min

sesshin notes II / april 2018

your sojourn in silence and stillness the path is a mirror reflects things as they are thathata thusness you as you are now coming here now going nowhere to be on the nowhere path is to be pathless to be pathless is to be in this world but not of this world pria de faro, far, algarve #sesshi #zenpeoms #path #silencepriadefaro #far #algarve #retreat #meditation

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silence teaches what is beyond words

May 24, 2018
1 min

silence teaches what is beyond words

one of the more impactful and profound experiences given to us to live is to recollect heart and mind in an intensive period of silent and still sitting. this is a moment when, while attending and caring for whatever unfolds outside, we begin to turn our light inwards, as the buddha encouraged us to do in his last recorded words. to turn our light inwards is another way of speaking of intamacy and homecoming. intimacy means, no one other than you, can take the steps, often st

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sensei ryotan tokuda

Mar 8, 2018
5 min

sensei ryotan tokuda

Today I would like to present you Master Tokuda Igarishi. The first time I met him was in a small Parisian apartment where he and a few of his students would gather twice a week to sit zazen. That was back in the Winter of 1997. Three years later he formally accepted me as his disciple, and ordained me monk and gave me the dharma name Tetsu_un which I would loosely translate, from the explanation I received from hims as: explore to the end what it is to be a cloud. Now that

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the art of meditation : when we sit in sesshin

Feb 19, 2018
1 min

the art of meditation : when we sit in sesshin

Sitting through a sesshin is something you need to come and experience for yourself as this is as personal an experience as it gets and no one can tell you beforehand what to expect or not to expect. It's above all about deepening your sense of intimacy with yourself, with the breath that fills your lungs, with the thoughts and emotions that disturb and unsettle you at times, with the walls surrounding you, with those sitting in silence next to you, with the roof that shelter

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only humility is endless

Feb 19, 2018
4 min

only humility is endless

My time in Bali is soon coming to an end and in a little more than a month I will be leaving this island after having lived here with my family for nearly six years. The next chapter of this long and unremitting erring on planet earth will take me back to Europe, this time to Portugal. Not at all sure what that will bring but not shying away form the uncertainty. I am not particularly sad about leaving Bali nor really excited about going to live in Portugal. Grateful though f

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is there someone called the teacher?

Dec 15, 2017
3 min

is there someone called the teacher?

in conversation with : Therese Lind Bjellder @thereselindbillie So basically a teacher's work is to reveal our hidden potential to us and yes, the inspiration he or she gives is this: take a step out of the fear that is restraining you. That step is letting ourselves fall into the unknown. -Hamid Ebadi @hamid.ebadi0 🗣🙏🏽💫🍀#myteacher #thankful I wish to one day again sit for hours and listen to your magical beautiful words describing the indescribable ---------------------

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psalm

Dec 4, 2017
1 min

psalm

here not to grasp here to bear earth upholds us universe motherly we can cry our fill cries heeded and heard stones hear us stars hear and entreat us god hears us god helps us stand upright as we cast our lament into his illumined night with us in every wail we could not have cried had he not wished to hear us we are the provider's sigh echoed back in the provider's ear we are your tear crystalline lord your eye blind a chaos adrift mirroring loneliness infinite go #vianegati

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things falling apart

Dec 4, 2017
2 min

things falling apart

when things start falling apart, hold on to your seat. albert camus puts it this way: there is no love of life without despair of life. but pain, sadness, grief and and despair are at odds with our deep-rooted belief in a life free from them, a life of permanent bliss and happiness. there is nothing wrong with us wanting this but an honest relationship with life soon makes us understand love and despair, happiness and pain, light and dark are not only inseparable but co

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not knowing

simplicity

Oct 31, 2017
2 min

simplicity

Our one week sesshin, silent zen meditation retreat, in Monchique, Portugal, just ended and in the gallery on this site are some photos of the event to share with you. The use of the word event is a little misleading. An intensive period of meditation practice is more of a non-event than a relatable event of the kind we are used to. Non-event in the sense that what is happening here is you just practising out of the moment. When you come close to and practice out of the momen

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and the rest is silence

Oct 7, 2017
3 min

and the rest is silence

and the rest is silence the sheer beauty of osho's words arrested me this morning: “ our existence is nothing but a sound in the immense ocean of silence.” as i sat with his words these ripples surfaced and began floating towards me: we emerge out of that ocean and return to that ocean. you can call that ocean the tao, the primal source, the universe, or any other name of your liking. any name will do as no name will do. no name will do as it is beyond names and naming. beyo

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to the broke and the broken

Oct 7, 2017
4 min

to the broke and the broken

Our sesshin (silent meditation retreat) in Monchique, South Portugal, is less than a month away. Some of you have written to express your interest but find it difficult to come for financial reasons. Some others feel you are not in a good enough space to get involved with intensive meditation practice, that it may become overwhelming. Whatever that may be, in the words of Jim Morrison of the Doors, what a lyricist: The time to hesitate is through! Reflecting on these obstacle

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to friends old and new on the path

Oct 7, 2017
2 min

to friends old and new on the path

over the past ten years, i have had the honor to share teachings with many students in india, bali and some other parts of the world. the setting of these teachings has primarily been at yoga teacher trainings, something rather uncommon for a zen teacher, this being the background i am coming from. what distinguishes the common from the uncommon is something you begin to lose sight of the more you follow your own deeper calling. your life has a mysterious way of unfolding the

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appeal

Jun 27, 2017
1 min

appeal

ocean's pure invention each dawn she summons the wind to recapture me from pits of sleep where mere keepsake of their cawing one late flight crows abandoned me she draws me to her waters where now where now forever i stand a listening to nothing bound receiving her release as she rolls 2006 mandrem, goa, india #poetry #meditation #goa #Zen #retreats #nature

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some thoughts on meditation

Jun 23, 2017
3 min

some thoughts on meditation

It's a happy moment whenever I get the chance to sit with others an intensive sesshin (meditation retreat) as this allows me each time to come back to that place of honesty where I can meet my own practice and, through it, my own life in a very open way. Over the years you begin to realize there is a depth to this practice of silent sitting that you will never fully plumb. Something rather joyful as what you are sensing as unfathomable is simply the mystery of life revealing

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